It’s time to pop over to the pdf magazine All The Rage and read about Monsters. My own contribution, a sobering account of celebrity excess, can be found below. A dinosaur is diverted from a course of city-scale mayhem by a Godzilla-sized packet of Chewits, cleverly mirroring the use of bright candy to mollify the […]

Last week, my companion and I found ourselves in the Islington area of London, and in possession of a voucher for Pizza Express. We had received the voucher by email, and had printed it out, as per the instructions. We were amused to note that in the “small print” it stated that photocopies of the […]

Continuing my part-time job as an Adam Buxton tribute act, I have made a video of Jane’s Brain for the Adam and Joe Video War.

After a short hiatus (June), I am back in All The Rage, where the topic for July is “Dreams”. Don’t forget to download this splendid pdf magazine. And below is my contribution. Reward A little while ago, in order to get my weekly ration of TV filth, I started watching The Apprentice. I came in […]

The theme for All The Rage this month is Age and Maturity. Here is more or less what I wrote: Hair My hair is going grey. Mainly around the temples, but generally all over, strand by strand. I quite like this. Maybe I’m turning into David Byrne, whose hair seemed to change coloura more or […]

The inspiration for these pictures came from a number of things, but they were definitely influenced by Forced Entertainment: specifically Emanuelle Enchanted, and the Cardboard Sign Photographs they made with Hugo Glendinning, but there’s a little bit of Speak Bitterness in there too.

Please, if you have not already done so, could you make your way to the site of my hitherto secret counting project. Thanks.

We have accepted the terms and conditions We have done the Maths We have been woken by car alarms We have allowed our membership to lapse We have looked, but we have not touched We have forgotten to buy milk We have used milk that has gone past its sell by date We have stopped […]

During some routine research into oral hygiene technology today, I stumbled upon this mutant toothbrush. Like something out of The Fly. You know, for kids! I can also imagine the creative discussion that led to this rascular innovation. A: Increasingly, consumers are becoming concerned with their tongues. B: If only it were possible to in […]

Here is another numerically ordered piece, originally published in the December edition of the hip, gunslingingly pdf magazine All The Rage. Before climbing back into bed after going to the toilet in the middle of the night, he would habitually check the time on his phone. In that half-asleep state, he had always assumed that […]