If you want something to represent the stupidity and pointlessness of contemporary existence, then I suggest you look to the gunk that arrives day and night in my Thunderbird inbox. I was briefly cheered, however, when I noticed a message this morning. The header said it was from “Digby Faucett”, though the content of the […]

Subject: Re: Booker Prize special Date: Wed, 15 Aug 2007 13:37:45 +0100 (BST) From: [email protected] <[email protected]> To: Peter Fletcher [email] Dear Mr Fletcher, Thank you for your e-mail. I regret to inform you that this is a bet we will not be covering. If we can be of any further assistance, please contact us again […]

Large billboard posters around my city recently advertised a Lexus saloon with the following slogan: MOVES YOU In more ways than one. Can you see what they’ve done there? I was tempted to explain how the slogan worked, and why I thought it was a clever use of words, but then I realised that, like […]

I have changed the default time settings of this website to GMT. It is the right thing to do. I am not a budgerigar.

I’ve grown tired of all of the kind words and fantastic offers sent to me by computers. If nothing else when I look at the site stats it makes me look much more popular than I really am. So I’ve turned off the comments, for now at least. Except for this post. Because I do […]

At lunchtime yesterday I was forced to conclude that I did not have anything in my kitchen or food storage areas that I wanted for lunch. This was because I did not have any fish and chips from the chip shop. And I’m glad because my trip to the chip shop was not only an […]

One of the supermarkets where I sometimes buy my grapes sells them in plastic bags with a zip. This is so that none of the grapes can escape.

A little while ago I wrote about a short performance piece by Search Party involving a hula hoop and some nicely done text. I liked it. When they invited submissions for a Wimbledon follow-up I expressed an interest. Despite the lovely typewritten letter they sent me with instructions, I was far too busy being a […]

On this particular Sunday morning he was eating Cornflakes while reading, the book held precariously open by a jar of marmalade on the thick right-hand to-be-read side, and an empty wine bottle on the thin left-hand having-been-read side, offering him satisfactory hands free operation, but at the same time threatening at any moment to eject […]

As well as receiving paper items through my door most days, I am also in frequent receipt of messages from complete strangers in my Thunderbird Inbox. Most of these messages I have some difficulty in understanding, and I move them to a special folder that I think of as a computer version of the large […]